I Do What I Want


After about a week, I’ve come to the conclusion that prolonged writing challenges are ridiculous. I started to write a post for day 8: pet peeves, actually on time I believe, but I just didn’t want to talk about pet peeves. I’m not interested in that and neither is anyone else. I’m just gonna write about what I feel inspired to write about. Hence the title.

So, a situation happened. I was involved in something slightly scandalous. In today’s culture, not really a big deal. However, it was a big deal to me. I’m not going to go into detail, but I’d like to talk about some aspects of it.

For example, the following day, I was pretty down in the dumps. Pretty much full out goth. I looked goth, I even acted goth. I hardly laughed or smiled at all. (Is that goth or emo?) Anyway, anyone who knows me, know that that’s basically the anti-Wanda. I used to joke about how I could never be emo or goth because I laugh too much. That was not the case this time. On a side note, I pull off goth (or emo) quite well.

(This is the part where I start to get religious.)

That night, at church, this acquaintance of mine said God put me on her heart and asked to pray with me. Oh. My. Goodness. Everything she said lined up perfectly with everything, and nothing she said wasn’t relevant. (Queue my bajillionth breakdown of the week.)

I was really fighting within myself about telling my parents. I wanted to so much, but I was scared to. I was very close to doing so. Then I learned some others knew, and I figured my parents would know regardless. So finally, I had enough courage, and I talked to my parents. They were disappointed, but very understanding. I think that soon my relationship with them will be better than ever, once we’ve made it through this.

I don’t know if it was just the fear of them finding out that drove me to finally tell them (knowing me, it probably was) but I’m thankful for how things happened. I’m still a little anxious about facing people and all that fun stuff, but now that it’s out in the open, I can begin the healing process, which is something I’ve needed for quite awhile. It’s a rough process, but I can almost breathe again. I haven’t been myself in a very long time, but maybe now I can be.

To the other person involved, if you’re reading this, and I hope you are, I’d like to apologize. If I could, I’d change a lot of things that I did. I haven’t got a clue what the future holds, but whatever happens, I’m okay with it. I hope you are, too. I’ll be praying for you, and I’d like to ask that you pray for me as well. It’s not a good thing that happened, but I believe great things can come of it, depending on how we react. Perhaps I’m being dramatic, but then again maybe I’m not. Sin is a big deal, and we’ve both done a lot of that. I don’t really know how you feel about all of this, but no matter what, ebeye yie (it will be well). Remember that.

Romans 6

12Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof. 13Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God. 14For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s